Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
