walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
