fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
