you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
even my farts smell like vagina
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
