i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
i've created a new STD.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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