Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize