I think my fart just growled at me.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
