i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize