well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
