haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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