it hurts more in the daytime
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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