I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Randomize
