We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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