NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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