The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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