So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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