Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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