My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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