YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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