I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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