something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
