Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Randomize
