My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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