I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
