you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
