I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
