We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
