so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
