we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
