I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize