Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
