Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
