Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
