You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
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