Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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