Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
