I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
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