I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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