I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
