White coat. Heels.
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
