Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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