I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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