Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
