try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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