just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize