fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
