Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
NoShamevember. You game?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
