we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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