you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
