at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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