FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
she told me i tasted like america
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize