Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
