So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
