SEEEEXXX PLEASE
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
