I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize