it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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