U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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