I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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