At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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