do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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