Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
