The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
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