Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
