I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
