I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
