For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
