One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
