i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
