You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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