Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
