bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
