I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
