:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize