Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
