remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize