awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
it's like heaven, but drunker
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
