U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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