I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
