This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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