I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
