McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
