So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
