yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
