i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
