am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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