The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize