Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
