The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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